Our lives should be a constant conversation. As we grow together as human beings, our conversations degenerate into shallow, self-serving discussions.
This happens when our lives cease to be inward and private, conversation degenerates into superficiality and egotism. It is then that we lose sight of what other people are saying, how they are saying it, and how we can respond to it.
Our personal conversations become things that we discuss for the sake of discussing them. It becomes no more than an inner workaholism that ruins every other part of our life.
It is only through conversation that we learn about ourselves and what makes us unique; however, when it comes to being in the spotlight, we must have a level of composure that does not always come out.
The importance of conversation
We live in a world where conversation is overused and undervalued. We spend our time talking to others instead of talking to ourselves.
We are in a conversationative society, and it’s time we reverse this trend.
A conversation is a deep, wide-ranging intellectual, emotional and spiritual dialogue that goes on between two people or groups of people. A conversation is not a one-on-one discussion, but rather the exchange of thoughts and ideas that take place between two people or groups of people.
Conversation is an important part of our daily lives that doesn’t get the attention it deserves. We spend our time in conversations with other people instead of thinking about ourselves.
Conversation degenerates into needless chatter led by radio hosts, TV commentators, social media experts, and so on. They have no interest in hearing what you have to say except to ask questions to move the topic along.
Three reasons why conversation is important
We live in a time where we have access to vast amounts of information, and where conversation is important.
However, we need to learn how to talk again.
We learned as children that talking is the most important thing to do. We were taught how to talk at home, at school, and in society at large.
We were taught how to be polite and how not to be rude. We were taught how to LISTEN. We have been very descently informed about the importance of listening over talking in an era where it is more difficult than ever to do so.
Why is it so hard for us as adults to learn how to talk again? Why do we have to re-learn this valuable social skill? It’s because we’ve grown up in an era where listening is perceived as “nice” or “respectful” or “kind” or “compassionate” or “caring” or “ philanthropy-focused .”It has become a habit that needs reinvention.
The definition of conversation
Conversation has been defined as a series of unproductive and superficial interactions that span days, weeks, months, and years.
As discussed in the bullet point, the definition of conversation has been changing over the years as our lives have become more private and inward-looking.
This Has Hijacked Conversation into a Degenerate Mode Where People Talk to Each Other About Money or Anything That May Interest Them Instead of One Another In A Conversational Manner.
As people grow more inward-looking, conversation has degenerated into meaningless banalities about things that may or may not interest them both.
For example, people may talk about their recent health challenges or how they stayed put on a diet for three months!
Or they may talk about what food they like and why they don’t talk about it much. It makes me feel awkward to hear people discuss their diets because I don’t necessarily share that enthusiasm for eating certain foods.
Who should be invited to a conversation?
In a conversation, someone else should be the only person allowed to talk at first. This is called initial conversation invite.
Once they are invited, the other person should ask them questions about their lives and how they want to be involved in the conversation.
If the other person agrees to participate in the conversation, then the rest of the people should wait until they are done talking before asking questions. This is called silent invitation.
When people accept silent invitation, then others can only talk if they make a chance to speak. If they do not feel comfortable enough to speak, then they can leave the room!
This meeting is for professionals who can help people achieve their goals.
What are the rules of good conversation?
The best conversations are the ones where there’s nothing left to hide, where people are relaxed and let their inhibitions fall, and where people share information and experience.
That’s why conversation is such a powerful way to learn. When people talk about things that matter to them, their conversations degenerate into chatter instead of learning.
Everyone has questions, but only one person can ask questions. When someone has a question, the only person who can answer it is someone who has the same question. That’s why you rarely hear anything new coming out of anyone’s mouth for very long- Conversation becomes degenerate until we reach a point where no one knows what they were talking about because it all got run over by so many different thoughts and ideas.
What if someone breaks the rules of good conversation?
What if the person having a conversation gets too heated, speaks too quickly, or otherwise breaks the etiquette of good conversation?
Those instances are when conversation degenerates into gossip, rumor, and innuendo. When this happens, people tend to ignore each other because they do not know each other well and/or do not enjoy talking to one another.
The person who is being gossips usually does not agree and does not enjoy it, making it more likely that both people will remain silent. Once someone becomes quiet because of embarrassment or fear of appearing rude or out-of-breath (knowing what they are saying is inappropriate), the rest of the group loses interest and conversations die down.
It is important to remember that good conversation can be educational as well as entertaining.
What if someone interrupts you during good conversation?
What if someone interrupts you during a conversation?
You feel like you have to keep talking or they will leave the topic or you will not make an impact on them?
You feel like your own thoughts and ideas are irrelevant as long as they are pleasant and accepted. This is such a small thing, but it can make a big difference in your overall happiness and health.
It is so easy to stop talking when something is not being talked about, but instead of stopping, we become more silent because we want to be heard. This can go on for a few minutes or hours depending on how fast people speak.
When people are engaged in a conversation, they cannot stop to listen, so when someone is trying to get their attention by speaking too quickly, it forces them to be quiet for some time before they can continue the conversation. This is such a small thing, but it can make a big difference in their happiness and health.
Tips for having good conversations with others
While all conversations are great, not all conversations are inward and private. Our current conversation system makes the private conversation degenerate into a public conversation with expectations of praise, sympathy, and feedback.
This is why so many conversational areas become infected with judgement and snark. We put our feelings on the line when we share our innermost thoughts and feelings with another person.
If a person does not feel like they are being heard or if they feel like they are being asked a question but in their head it’s already been answered, then what good is the conversation going to make?
Inward conversations require both parties to be at their absolute highest ebb of self-confidence, energy, and motivation. They require each person to be completely honest with themselves and one other.
At its most basic level, having a good conversation requires being vulnerable enough to be yourself but not so much that it becomes awkward or uncomfortable.